June

June had so far been an extremely busy month.. with most nites in the office till ten.
i do not want to live like that and i shall leave the office at six.
i hate it when i say i would but never do.
makes me feel i am unreliable.
which is a weakness.

oh ya, i went for "body talk" session with an old friend from NLP
she is brilliant
for those who do not know what i am talking about,,,, i should try to explain.
body talk is a cross between kinesiology when our body will tell the practitioner "yes" & "no" answers,, with muscular tests, eg by gently depressing the arm to check of muscle resistance and guage for yes / no.
body talk combince TCM traditional chinese medicine
and belief system, and energy stuff (like reiki)

anyway, before i loose you, just know that there are more "baggages" our body carries that meets the eye.

i had 2 sessions and she addressed:-

• the regular aches, toe cramps, etc, i cant recall.. oh ya, and an issue about "sweetness"

second session was more intriguing as i had not told her anything but she discovered:-

• i had a phobia of another person's anger and there was a blockage at my heart area.

my body could even tell her who that person was as i shortlisted 2.

• my body told her of a grieve i was holding and said that i had to clear it to make room for something new.
• my body also told her that i have a concern about health insurance issue about the future

so i guess my body is telling her a lot of things that is happening to me.

anyway, we balanced the matters and although i cannot give you concrete evidence of improvement, i do trust the process & the science of it.

negative effect

picture diary

See some of my recent sketches from my picture diary.

The lips are “drawn” with just the phrase “speak no evil”
You know, just to remind myself to be mindful and speak only of positive things and not gossips.

As for the owl,,, I had insomnia earlier in the year as I was too stressed with work…

good thing it was a passing phase.

vivo city

there is a mini man-made beach at vivo city, the shopping mall.

cousin zhi ting begged us to bring her there as she needed a break from all the school work, homework and exams.

it is quite romantic in the evening when the sun goes down and it is also quite refreshing to dip our feet in the waters while surrounded by eateries and shopping stores.

i would like to go there again some time but i do not like to queue for anything. like i said, you have to pay me to queue.

=)

weekend in may

my weekend - May 26th & 27th

mark told me this morning that i sleep walked to the loo last nite.

i was shocked and intrigued because i thought my sleep walking has stopped.

he said i didnt need to on the lights, i just walked like a robot.



when i was a kid, i was known to put on my school uniform and wear my socks and shoes as if i am getting ready for school but it is like middle of the night and i am doing the action with my eyes shut and sound asleep. there were a few times my aunt had to stop me from walking out of the house with my bolster in tow. they laugh about it in the morning but i dont think it is funny.

i feel that people who sleep walk are disturbed in the mind or under stress.

medically, i dont know the stand, but that's just my thinking.



i guess going to the loo is not considered sleep walking.

if the body has to go, it has to go.

either that or pee in bed.

which i know that bed wetting is a sign of anxiety.

anyway, as i said, i was intrigued because once, quite recently about a year ago, i sleep-walked to the loo. nothing unusual you say. let me explain.



i was having fever and forced myself to drink a lot of water.

having fever and feeling cold, i wore one panty, one shorts and one long track pants,

the usual t-shirt and sweater, to bed. plus one pair of thick woolen socks.



i placed a pair of rubber slippers near the washing machine outside the toilet for myself in case

i had to use the loo and was wearing socks, remember?



the next morning, i didnt remember going to the loo but i woke up and saw one pair of socks neatly placed on top of the slippers, each socks folded neatly in half and placed in the same direction.



errie.



how could i in any logical mind, fold the socks so neatly? for what? i would nornally just pull off the socks and throw them into the pail.

how and why did i fold them so neatly and Placed them so neatly side by side?

how did i do that in my sleep?

i really wonder and sometimes it scares me.



i used to do the "felicity" thing,, you know record in a mini tape recorder like an audio diary.

but once i played back a recording and i dont freaking remember me having said that!

i was half asleep when i recorded it, under the influence of alchol i think,, so it freaked me out knowing that i am capable of doing things out of character when i am out of my ususal mind.



another time i had a friend who asked me if i remember my conversation with him the night before and i dont because we talked when i was falling asleep.



so please dont ask me about anything if i am half asleep. because i may act or sound as if i am awake but chances are i wont remember!

--

ok, wow i talked so much and havent touched on my weekend.



i have to tell you how stressed at work we are.



my colleague Cathy told us today about her nightmare where she and Iresh were driving along the expressway in a car and how suddenly they were both drowing in the ocean and she asked Iresh to hang on the some grills to stay afloat, all the time treading water. (tiring)



i dreamt about another colleague- anna and i, cleaning some area and anna accidentally hit her wrist onto a sharp object and a fountain of blood gushed from her left wrist. i took a towel and bandaged her wrist while adding pressure to the wound to stop the burst of blood. i brought her to the town clinic but it was a panic search becos the clinic was no where in sight.

when we finally saw the doctor, the victim became me but it was my last pinky finger that had a cut and a tiny spring of blood was jutting out like a water fountain.



** sigh **

how much stress we have at work and it invaded our dreams.

---



ok, i have to tell you about Sunday.



mark's brother invented a bamboo hole cover that would shut automatically every time you take the bamboo out from the holder. he came up with the idea after seeing his poor neighbour suffered dengue from the stagnant water that bred ades mosquitoes. many bamboo hole in our HDB flats collect water if not covered properly.



anyway, we were at the tampines town council day as NEA (national environmental agency) gave us a booth to display the product as a showcase for the public / residence.



it was an interesting day, although it was SCORCHING hot, humid, glaring and tiring.



the public are generally receptive to the product and liked the idea.

i must say at least 50% of the people are civic minded and felt that they are responsible to keep their homes free from breeding mosquitoes. especially civic minded in this area are the old aunties. and students. there was a girl who quickly borrowed a phone from her aunt to call her mom to come and buy the covers. (but we were not ready for sale la,,, it was still at prototype stage)



anyway, there were also the few odd people. one man threw the sample cover on the ground to test if the material is really good. luckily it passed his test and didnt break. few others insisted that no matter how you cover, there will still be some rain water seeping in.



anyway, what i wanna tell you is that my neighbouring stall volunteer made me reflect about myself.



you see, he is a young malay teen and he was doing a recruitment drive for volunteer marshalls to go to people's homes to survey if they have an stagnant water breeding mosquitoes grounds.
there were some pens and hilighters to be given away but only if they sign up. as his recruitment drive showed no sign of success,, he was told by the supervisor that he could just give away the pens & highlighters. and when he did that,,, there was a sudden flock of people crowding around our table and swumming us up like scavangers.

they extended their hands, the torsos, their arms to "beg" for the free gift-aways.

my gosh, i was ashamed by their behaviour.

the boy got so pressed by them that he began to throw the pens in the air like scattering rice crakcers for the peigons. it was a sorry sight and i looked away. i was angry at the uncivilized behaviour and sneaked to take some pictures to show you.

i dont know that singaporean can be so shameless and i didnt know the extent of the kick they have getting something for free.

luckily a more senior officer stepped in and told the pepole to queue up.
she said i have a lot of pens to give away but we are civilised people so please dont rush like this.
the people did not go away embarassed but they just tried to queue a bit.

after all the saga, i was alone with the boy and i said, singaporean are terrible.
he asked "are you malaysian?"
i was surprised and said, no, why?
he said then you shouldnt say singaporeans are terrible. although they like anthing for free.

we laughed but we are both feeling terrible.

i dont normally go to crowded places like this. i dont wake up at 730 in the morning to queue up for a goodie bag. i will think thrice even if you paid me. so yes, i dont understand the joy of getting free pens, free fridge magnets and free bags.

liang court

went Liang Court to get a digi cam from Audio House.. began wanting to get olympus but end up buying lumix panasonic. see how much a sales person can influence the customer. anyhow, lumix is a good camera, fool proof too. Mark uses it for his work. ya, i have to tell you, he is finally working now.

for those who might not know, my husband is an extremist. he either works like there's no tomorrow or dont work at all. i hope with age he has become more sensible and will lead a balanced work life. anyway, i am certainly glad that he is working and there is light at my tunnel now. haha.

i heard from my aunt that my mom is sad and lonely.
that makes me feel very guilty.
guilty that i dont spend enough time with her.
but the sadder thing is that i dont connect heart to heart with her.
like, we just talk about simple things. normal converations.
never really talk about our feelings.
how?

Mark asked me,, so is your mom really sad & lonely?
i said - i dont think so
he asked- you mean you didnt ask?
ya, i didnt ask. we dont talk about such things.

what's been happening

recently i have been shopping quite a bit. my feet is rather small and many of my friends are envious that i can make the shoe look good. anyway, here is yet another pair of sandal. which i have not used yet. as i've told you, my new office is to sparse and i have no place to hide my shoes. my boss is a neat freak and i think i am too untidy for his liking. not that i am untidy but i guess 3 pairs of shoes in the office may be one too many.

anyway, i am also not sure why would i have so many stuff since i use the same old stuff for ages. like my watch, i have used it for 8 years almost every single day.

can you tell that i like green? though it is a tough colour to match. but green is beautiful. olive green, fresh yellowish green. army green.

i dont like chlorophyll green. is teal green family? i like teal only on paper, eg wall paper or wrapping paper.

can you tell i am bored? one night i was bunning my hair with various bun hump. my husband said he like to see me preen.

i said " like prune & preen, preen?"

yes, he replied.

i said, well, it's time to have a baby, i am bored!

who on earth plays with their hair. many girls i suppose, but i am not to be known like that. i dont even comb my hair. just use my fingers to run through them and it will be ok. signs of me getting bored at home.

Sir Lancelot

meet Sir Lancelot, our knight.

doesnt really stick, does it?

we like this car of course but it is not the same love we have for Grace. i wonder is it the same for children as well. like being a first time parent is very new and exciting and more memorable, given that you are new at it, made mistakes and the growth is more recognisible. versus being parent for the second time, excitement may rubbed off a little and less is being impressed onto our consciousness. i am just wondering.

so anyway, lancelot is neat and cool. runs well, looks steady and mature. i dont know what characters it will have later on but for now, he is quite handsome.

i borrowed $10K from my friend (the one that always borrows my stationary and shoes) she is also my colleage now and before. so anyway, she loaned me $10K with friendly interest which i will return over 5 moons. i am a believer in 先苦后甜, meaning give before receive. i think that it is a fabulous idea to buy a car like lancelot and get it (payment) done in 5 moons so that i wont need to worry for 4 more years. lets face it, most people i know dont drive the same car for 10 years nowadays and they have to keep changing to a new car as they are caught in a payment fix. half the time they are paying the interst for their car. so anyway, i shall not talk too much about this as people dont like to be told they are foolish.

hello

hello every body!

i have not blogged for more than a month. because i was really very busy.

work was tremendously busy and stressful but i am ok. can i say that i am ok? sometimes my hearing has a vacuum and i couldnt hear properly for 30 seconds. and just the other day i almost wanted to quit. so why do i say i am ok? because i dont feel the stress now. some of my work problem have been solved, some are still on the table and some have yet arrive.

the point is at this moment i am not stressed. so i am pretty ok now. plus, it is FRIDAY! TGIF.

i have a new office now. you can see from the pictures below, our new office is not bad. but i tell you, there is actually lesser storage space than our old small container. see the pictures and you will know what i mean.

i discovered that i am a hogger, an insecure person or a person who needs to have one dozen variation of a same product. see the number of pairs of shoes i have in the old office. (pix at the bottom) and that is not counting a few pairs that my colleague loaned. i even sold her my shoes for $2 each because she borrowed them for so long and they are almost like hers. i really dont like that. she borrowed my tiger balm and didnt return. my xmas gift shawl and didnt return. my 12 yr-old and counting mechanical pencil and didnt return and many other stuff that i cannot remember. i dont like that at all, so i took some back. except to be kind, i sold her some shoes for $2 which she hasnt returned.

anyway, i am such a neat hogger. you can see that although i have so much stuff, they are pretty neatly organised.

the move to our new office

the past 15 months

Grace -- my first Car

Good Bye, Grace

Grace is our first car.

saying good bye to her is like saying good bye to a good friend, a little sad.

as the decision to get a replacement car came quite suddenly, i found myself with just one weekend to gather my thoughts and say good bye.

it may appear that we are too sentimental with just a piece of metal that gets us around, but i can tell you why we were attached.

you see, i bought Grace when i was at one of my frustrating low point. 2 years ago, i was out of a full time job and was doing some full time temp work that paid me a thousand dollars a month. i couldnt quite make the monthly insurance payment and was very frustrated with myself. what was i doing and where was i heading?! in my frustration and disappointment with myself, i went to the insurance office to cancel the policy, after having it for like 9 yrs i think. then the lady told me i can encash $9K and continue with the policy. i took her advice nonetheless.

supposedly the $9K could last me a couple of months but my husband interested me with a nice little diahatsu that is left with 30 mths on the road. i wasnt for it but i thought, well, i have never seen my husband keen in getting anything and i would like to get him the car. so against many people's advices we bought an old car and i named it Grace.

Grace was fabulous. she is fast, fierce and very fun to be with.
she had such a personality that my friends began to tell me they saw Grace here and there. (haha)

but as all good things, there is an end. Grace's lifespan is due in a couple of months and we want to say good bye while she is still hot and running well.

on reflection, i realised how much my life has improved with her.

i had bought some bulky gifts and send them to old friends, sent my dad to the hospital with Grace, had late nites out with friends, slept late and no need to hurry for public transport, went to hill top at Jurong for many romantic dinner, went JB just to drive around and speed. worked till midnite and know that Grace would pick me up. sent my aunties home after family gatherings. brought mark's mother to the clinics and BBQs. many many more.

Grace had opened doors for us. and our lives have never been the same again, in a good sense.

so, Thank you Lord for giving us Grace.

the pursuit of happiness

i used to be very troubled because i felt i wasn't making any worthy contribution with my job and felt that i could do better but at the same time felt inadequate and small and did not try.
it was frustrating times and i am glad it was a passing phase.

i read a science article on "the fulfilment factor" and was amused that it says
"All that stuff about needing to find a job that you love is overstated. Research shows your level of optimism and quality of relationships impact your happiness more than your job does."

no wonder i was unhappy.

asking a job to give me happiness is too much.

I now learnt that in order to be happy with my job, it has to :-
Stretch without defeating,
Provide clear Goals,
Provide unambiguous feedback and
Provide a sense of Control.

in short, any job that gives you the above will be fulfilling.

lastly,

"Positive Psychology is not only about maximizing personal happiness,
but also about embracing civic engagement and spritual connectedness, hope and charity"

the science of being happy.

Cousin Hong Jing

my aunt has 2 older kids aged 15 and 12 and recently she gave birth to a baby girl.

it was not planned and it was certainly a delight to have a new cousin for me.

the first few months was quite difficult for them because baby has a hole in the heart.

she got better these few months and it is a relieve for all of us especially her parents.

initially she was very small and dark as i guess there is not enough oxygen going in her bloodstream. but her condition has imrpoved now and my aunt believe it is the power of prayer.

cash rich

i dont know why i had somewhat lost my interest in gambling, but recently i joined some games at my lady boss' house last saturday and it was quite fun.

sunday evening, after dinner at the office, there were games at the pantry till 5am! can you imagine i still had the energy to go to work after 2 hrs of sleep.

i only liked black jack but my seed betting of $50 is too miserable compared to the regular player ranging from $500 to $6000 each bet. i played anyway.

at the mahjong game, one player won total of $160K over 2 other players.

that is enough to buy a 3 room HDB flat outright.

some people would have to pay like over 30 years.

sometimes i wonder if it is any wrong for people to gamble like this when there are those who are struggling... but those struggling people are not in the same radius of those high flyers because "birds of a feather flock together".

is there anything wrong for those who in others' views are splurging or wasting money when perhaps in our society there are those who cannot make ends meet?

recently i read in the papers about a cosmetic surgeon who spent $20 thousand on a pair of leggings. $20 thousand for a pair of stockings is shocking to some as it could jolly well be some people's one year salary.

so as our society's wealth disparity widens, where do you belong? high, mid or low? do you detest those who splurge? if yes, why?

i really am not sure about myself. i have no feelings about those who splurge i guess because if i have the means i will also splurge. i have no issue about spending money as long as i feel that it is worth the money.

a student drawn A LOT OF FLAK from the people of Singapore when she blogged about an educated men whining about loss of jobs and pressure of living standard going higher.

i think if i voice my views i will also be drawing flak.

i dont know where to draw the line between being empathetic, sympathetic and compassionate. as i dont believe in spoon feeding. perhaps i am hard because i worked my way in life the hard way and i believe the hardship has paid off in ways of shaping my character, diligence and strength. but i am in no way hard-hearted. i help in more ways than ever and inspire people to help themselves and i demonstrate that it can be done. i once read that true charity is to light a hope and inspire others, give them opportunities to upgrade in skills etc. i believe our government is fair enough to do these.

negativity starts from a thought before it becomes an action and eventually shapes a persons behaviour and character. i am fully aware of that and i always instill kind thoughts to others and help them see things in different light. i always hear people gossiping about how someone changed (for the worse) after she becomes rich. i say "she" because there is prejudice that female is the likely gender. i think those who think like that have issues with money and should look into themselves or they will never get rich.

anyway, back to my games.. i would love to gamble big and i think i will be able to do so next year. give me some time to save my seed money. big games will relight the fire in me. in case you are worried that i may get carried away,,, worry because i may. but still, you have to let me live my life. isnt it?

cleaning therapy

i was very crancky knowing that i procrastinated cleaning my vanity drawer.. so i finally got round to empty all the items on the floor and sort them accorinding to:- liquid soap, cake soap, shampoo, conditioner, body & hand lotion, perfumes, facial wash, candles, razors, shower caps, sun tan lotion, sun screen, toothpaste and ear buds. totally A1 for neatness after cleaning.

felt GOOD!

Darwin Recap 3

i totally dig into this make-up case which i use as a handbag.

it is made of satin and has a classy print. i like clear and see-through bags where i can see all my stuff in a glance.

also interesting is this chocolate-beaded straw that turns plain mike into chocolate flavour when you use it to drink your milk. i bought lots of this to give away as a novelty.

Darwin Recap 2

we stayed at this motel called the Poincianna Inn. i like its neat layout and yellow walls with big bricks outline. the fencing are like match-sticks and i like its geometric look.

if we could also name our vehicles in singapore, Grace (my car) would have her name displayed.

i have always felt that it was a hassle to recycle until i see that in taiwan + australia, recycling is part of their lifestyle and it is not a "shy" thing to re-use glass bottles to serve water to guests or use them as pepper and salt shakers.